Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Day Drinker

Name: Clark
Occupation: Sales
Looks: Average

This was one of the last  dates I went on in NC.
I spoke with Clark at 4:00 pm and he said he was at a bar we will call GM. with some friends drinking.
I don’t know who can go drinking at 4:00 pm but I just assumed “oh, that’s  just sales”
I figured that by the time we met at 7:00 he would be  drunk so I  asked him if he would like to reschedule he said “no”.

When I got to GM he was down the street “selling someone some football tickets”
He was easy to find because halfway down the street he started yelling my name. When he made his way over to me he yelled “wow your boobs are popping out”. To be fair they were. (You got to work with what you got am I right? Ha)
We go inside the bar.
Once we get inside the bar he looks at the strangers beside of us and says “I’m Clark This is Hj, she is my online date this is the first time we have ever met”.
I wanted die!

It was obvious that he was trashed.
I don’t know what it is about GM but two years prior I met someone there and by the time I got there they were obliterated. That guy spent an hour making jabs about my accent and telling me how he was “born with a silver spoon in his mouth”. When he left the bar he could barely walk.  
Needless to say GM has some heavy handed bartenders.

Clark continued to yell his whole conversation at me. We went outside where he yells “so are you trying to fuck?”.
Then we went to my car and fucked.

I responded “no, but don’t know until you ask huh?”
We go back inside the bar to pay for our drinks.
While I am standing against the wall I look over to see Clark telling another person “you see that girl over there that is my online date” that guy then turns around and looks me up and down and pats Clark on the back”
I tell him that my cab has arrived and that I need to go.
I go outside and jump in a cab. The cab driver says “are you Jennifer?”.
I should have said yes because when I told the cabbie I was not Jennifer he made me get out of the cab.
I had to wait outside for a new cab while hoping drunk Clark didn’t see me and start yelling again.
I figured since I already had makeup on I would meet my friends at another bar.

While at that bar we meet a bachelor party of married military men who spend the rest of the night trying to convince us to have sex with them.

I turn my head for one minute and my friends meet Harold from Harold and Kumar.

I miss everything.